“So on and So Forth and Such” from: “The Kingdom of Boredom” by: spider hacksaw (©2013)

“So on and So Forth and Such” from: “The Kingdom of Boredom” by spider hacksaw (©2013)

Should mind numbing boredom and disillusion with this existence be propelling me to take huge risks that might create a life-tornado that might then not be sooooooooooooooooooo achingly boring? I have to trick myself into finding interest in things and/or people and if i do it well enough i might tend to forget that i am endlessly and aimlessly bored with this thing called existence. This thing called “life” that everyone else finds sooooooooo fascinating. I find and have found the majority of my time here in this manifested flesh, surrounded by this temporary universe to be utterly lacking in interest. I can observe myself fooling my mind into finding some point of fascination upon which it can hook itself. And the most available and immediate fascination-hooks are irritants. Because they are essentially constant. The external-God throws these at me to keep me busy, to help me keep myself busy so i don’t go searching madly or idly for an escape shoot or hatch. But the truth remains, i am always, from the back of my head, feeling about for a way out, my thoughts working as fingers, frantically digging and prodding and plodding for release. I find, and have only found, during my entire visit here, in this jail cell flesh, the act of creation, the energy of creativity, to be anything of essence. Not even the item or event created itself is as good as the trance that overtakes me when i am lost in the mountainous mystifying misty midst of the creative force of this Particle-Globe. And yet, i am overwhelmed by the inability to engage in the creative process, because i am so constantly being sucked at and into the maelstrom of worthless existence by those that have found a way to command me and control me as their slaves in this world. Because they have found the religion of this world, rather than the spirit of this world. They have made idols of false gods, and chained themselves, as well as the majority of “others” to these false gods, these gods of fast cars, and fancy clothes, of game shows and jewelry and bravado and plunder and glamor sport and so on and so forth as such. While many others find wonton chit-chat and gossip and complaint to be their warped chauffeur, casting themselves and their fellow similarly strung neighbors into baffling spells of endlessly circling escape-routeless patterns of brain curdling banter, by which existence is mere mimicry. And the shameless examples of false-god spectacle go on and on and so on and so forth and such.
I blame no one, for my misfortune. I am no better. As i too, attempt to play the fool and get lost in the goo-glue. To find some sense of redemption within this curse, along this long hearse ride called “life”. Is this what i was made for. Is this what we were created for. Is this why we all exist here in this place. This circle-jerk of consistent apathy. This horrific clamoring hayride. This joyless joke and fizz-free coke called “Life-lite”. To be confused and befuddled in a dark despair. To be used as putty by others that use themselves as putty for others and so on and so forth and such. To not create but to collect eons of rusted crust beneath mounds of ash and dust. To bumble and boggle and pooh-pooh as corn and cattle. To hem and haw and blah blah blah. Forgive me my decimation, forgive me my snickering whimpering will. Forgive me my lack, as i forgive your ravenous maddening complacency, as i forgive the joyless spring-summer-fall, and as i try to forget what i was even squawking about, a little while longer, in this dirt filled snow-globe,
in this Kingdom of Boredom
and so on and so forth and such.

(spider hacksaw)(2013)(from: the kingdom of boredom)
(this is the intellectual property of spider hacksaw – do not covet)


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